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s-FEAR-largeThe world is faced with so much chaos today, where the human race battles for so much power than is required. Truly, the human race is a highly competitive one but the power struggle between persons of same human race but only different in biological anatomy which defines Sex is for me quite incomprehensible. I have to be straightforward in mentioning I am a staunch egalitarian in principle. Thus, it might give you a quick clue of where this is going.

Recently, I read a story about certain Nigerian men in United State of America, resulting to killing their wives because they felt being de-robed of their power as decision makers in the family. This story portrayed series and similar stories of Nigerian men in USA married to female nurses, whom have assumed an important and commendable role in financing the home and thus important decision makers. How unfortunate these events had ended.

I have had to reflect on what the fear of men are when they find themselves in a woman-dominating world. Gender stereotyping has resulted from beliefs that encourage several other type of inequality in race, class, age, caste and most recently issues relating to sexual orientations. While this belief is being greatly contested in many instances, there is still a great struggle in understanding that males and females are or at least should be equal in every society. Assignment of gender roles has had so much negative effect in the self-perception and esteem experienced by males and females. Male persons have had to fight with themselves when being yelled at by a female but very comfortable if another male person did- even in more dangerous way. Female persons become less ambitious. They would rather rely on engaging with another male person who has the prospect of securing their future (at least in a heterosexual context). Male persons over-burden themselves with responsibilities they can hardly satisfy instead of opening up the avenue of being supported by their female partners whom can do better in some cases. Female persons subject themselves to unnecessary male domination, even by the weakest male persons.

 Oftentimes, I have found myself in this discussion with females who feel very comfortable with this stereotype and I feel inwardly disgusted. My childhood adds so much to my disgust. My parents related as equally as equal. My father did several house chores just as my mother. My mother paid bills just as my father did. I experienced that much equality at home. Living in a home of all boys, I did not understand/ know that some house chores were meant for girls and I still live by that. We (the boys) did it all. Now as a grown up boy, I appreciate my father better. Despite the age difference between him and my mother, as a boy, I remember how much he respected my mother. As my father was already retired when I was growing, he had the responsibility of keeping the home- what I am growing to understand as the job of a woman in the family. My mother would go to work to return home late at night and my father would make sure that there was food for her when she returns. This I am also learning is not the attribute of a manly person.

My father was not a weakling. He was a strong person in public service and apart from not being a corrupt politician; he ended his career at the near-apex by being a Commissioner at the Lagos State Service Commission. People defined him as a fine public administrator. He was relatively well off and didn’t have to rely on his wives for a living. He was not subjected or compelled to do what he did because his wife was the breadwinner. At least that was not the case.

Now, you will understand how incomprehensible I find inequality in relation to gender among others. Today, women are striving higher than men, where opportunities are given to them. This leaves me to think that won’t we live in a better world where a male and female child are given equal opportunity?

Respect should be symbiotic; men should respect women just as women would respect men. I am opinionated that no one should be submissive in a relative. At least, I am not attracted by it.  A world decorated with respect is a peaceful one. I will continue respect to have peace.


  1. You have been fortunate to grow up with a mom and a dad who respected each other, independently of the roles they took on. This enriches the life of a kid, as it does to its parents. Oh if only this could become mainstream…

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